NSFW Sunday Will Seduce You With Your Own Actually Uncomfortable Lesbian Sex Tales! | Autostraddle

Introducing Embarrassing Lesbian Sex Story-Fest 2012!

In case you’ve forgotten about:

Maybe you have noticed just how each and every time anyone brings up something gross about lesbian sex, we usually backlink to
the nails post
? That’s because the web badly lacks the lesbian/bisexual/queer-girl-person gender equivalent of Cosmopolitan’s gender tales or Sassy’s

Mortifying Times.

You almost certainly have an awkward gender story you intend to share with the web. For prizes! Your own tale tends to be short or long (50 to 4500 words appears when it comes to correct) and will be cringe-worthy or humorous.

The champion will receive the Pop the Top system from
Good Vibrations
(a form of this package once was
reviewed by NSFW Sunday
), which includes:

+ Hitachi Secret Wand

+ Fuchsia Pop Top Deluxe Silicone connection

+ 2 oz. package of Please Liquid Lube

+ And net popularity!

Vote to suit your favourite from today until saturday
! The champion shall be launched in the future. And from now on: it’s time. The following, probably the most awkward, mortifying, shameful, or humorous lesbian intercourse tales submitted by you.


1. Lesbian Auto-Sex

My personal present sweetheart and that I happened to be on our long ago from cinema one-night, and because I found myselfn’t resting over we chose to pull over into an industry to make “use” of my car. Long tale short, we had fantastic gender and made a decision to leave, I went to switch the car around, therefore ended up being completely stuck during the dirt. We tried everything to have it , including her trying to force it generating the woman dropping dull on the face when you look at the mud. Ultimately I experienced to contact my father (who did not realize about gayness or said girlfriend) at 1:30 a.m., describe we had been trapped in a field, exactly why on earth we’d even experienced industry after all, and have him ahead tow united states down.

via femmethings.tumblr.com


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2. Maybe not Sex regarding the Seashore

You probably know how they do say that “gender in the coastline” is really beautiful and interesting in addition they have even a cocktail named after it? Really which is BULLSHIT. Although the person who “they” are most likely meant like, a warm sunny coastline with covers and possibly a chaise, and not a cold, windy night on New york seashore which, in case you aren’t through the LA region, is a lot like the anal area of shores … in a terrible method. Anyways, i am going down on this girl I’m internet dating, nevertheless the wind helps to keep blowing mud in my face/in the lady vagina, and I also’m coughing and it’s really mostly humiliating. So as that ended up being poor. But exactly how do we get myself? We go back to the woman destination, in which I check out get thus stoned that I actually CANNOT DISCOVER HER VAGINA. Cannot find it. I passed around somewhere around the woman legs. The worst part is actually, bc the lesbo community in LA is indeed little, we see the girl constantly. As a vintage YM issue might state, OMG MORTIFYING.

via lesfemmes.tumblr.com


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3. Fucking while the Police

The summer before university, I had my personal very first gf, and when i came across the amazing things of homosexual sexytimes I happened to be clearly preoccupied, to the point to be prepared to exercise very nearly everywhere. Display A: one night after a dinner away, we made a decision to park my car behind a closed-for-the-summer primary college and get at it. A girl’s gotta would what a female’s gotta would, amirite??

So everything is going great until we come across headlights behind united states and we also recognize OAHU IS THE COPS. We become dressed as quick as humanly feasible and after a few frantic seconds of, “YOU’RE SAID TO BE THE BUTCH ONE,” “zero YOU WILL BE,” we choose to take equal obligation therefore we both get free from the automobile. The cop is a big old guy and demonstrably amazed observe two girls arise from vehicle. He is all, “what exactly are you women undertaking right back right here?” and I also never also think intercourse took place to him as possible, although we were wet, disheveled, the car ended up being passionate, etc. HETEROSEXISM AT ITS BEST! So we’re like, “Oh, uh, going out, sorry.” He eyes us suspiciously and says, “Well, I reached take your info.” My personal woman is freaking down about the woman moms and dads obtaining wind of anything, but he assures us it’s just program procedure. So he hands us a notepad and also all of us write-down the brands (precisely why the guy don’t just ask for all of our certificates, i’ve no clue). The guy shines their flashlight therefore we is able to see the notepad right after which we observe … my personal girlfriend’s hand is included in blood. I assume I would obtained my period during sex and hadn’t noticed. So IMMEDIATELY the policeman is similar to, “WAIT, YOU’RE BLEEDING. WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?” And my personal girl views and freaks out and makes up some crazy tale about having cut herself regarding pocket knife on her behalf keychain. The cop insists on searching the car (for bodies?) and, locating nothing, at long last eventually finally lets us go. Not before my sweetheart features unintentionally received my personal duration blood all-around their notepad.

We vowed to never make love behind a school once more (but not never in a vehicle, cuz that’s simply too-good), after that chuckled for like six months directly. For years afterward we’d joke about the time we got caught ‘”red-handed.”

via reno 911


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4. Moist T-Shirt Contest

I reside in a college dormitory, as really does my today ex-girlfriend. One night we were inside her area, having a smashing good-time trying out the strap-on she’d simply bought from Edens Fantasies. Just as circumstances were planning to really “explode,” the flame alarm went down. My sweetheart had been hoping to get the band on off, but the straps had been twisted, individuals were yelling within the hallway way, all of our RA was actually knocking regarding the door, I found myself nude and that I couldn’t get a hold of my personal bra, i did not have footwear, she was still twisted into the really funnel… She ended up merely taking the toy out from the harness, putting some sweatpants on over it, therefore we ran outside, neither people in footwear, me personally just wearing a t-shirt and a pair of the woman shorts… and it’s really raining. My t-shirt is actually white. I don’t have a bra. Naturally, it was an uncomfortable evening.

via lesfemmes.tumblr.com


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5. The 69’ers

My gf and I happened to be attempting to 69 for the first time. We believed it could be sexy to test new things between the sheets. I became on the bottom and she ended up being on the top. Okay, so picture my face-on the woman pussy and really others is perfectly up to the creativeness. Well I found myself form of unpleasant since I didn’t have a lot mind help. And so I chose to carry my personal mind somewhat so i really could place some pillows under there or something like that. Really… as I ended up being trying to go my personal head slightly she must-have noticed one thing was actually taking place and slightly forced down. Well, maybe not these types of a good idea because the woman entire vagina/bottom half moved right up into my face. Yea, we laughed for an entire few minutes next.

Jiz Lee and Stoya via Fleshbot


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6. Oops!

When in twelfth grade I found myself fingerbanging this truly hot girl at her residence and she squirted. She was really surprised, and that I maybe was actually also, but she started whining! And I ended up being youthful and really odd, and that I however do not know why but we began laughing, hard. Of which point she slapped myself (totally deserved it), went to the toilet came back and gathered my personal clothing (strolling papers). So as that was actually good enough but, I am not saying actually kidding when I say that each and every day that this story haunts me i need to air-five Dan Savage as it thus gets better: when I in the morning leaving we see the woman mama and I also have straight away anxious but act lovely and innocent because I became a total charmer: “Bye, thank you for having myself,” alongside this type of bullshit. As I change far from her, she got me by shoulder and said, “not ever screwing touch my personal daughter once more, dyke.” I wish I’d stated, and even merely thought one thing clever and bitchy but i recently mentioned, “sorry sorry” did this shameful bowing motion and then i-cried on drive house.

We most likely destroyed that family though so it’s cool.

via lesfemmes.tumblr.com


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7. Ice Cubes

Onetime I was having beautiful time using my gf whenever – sensation particularly turned on and experimental – I interupted the intercourse saying, “I’m going to go get ice cubes, i’m going to be straight back.” As I was getting off the bed my personal girl indicated to a wet area in which I have been, saying, “seem everything left!” and giggling. Laughing, then i pointed in which she have been and said, “seem that which you kept!” Strike one. About bed in which my sweetheart were was a tiny small streak of poop. She straight away burst into tears. I found myself amazed. All of our beautiful time had used a sudden change for the worse. As my personal gf’s sobs grew stronger I found it more and more difficult to supress my fun until eventually it burst regarding lips. Strike two. At this my personal girlfriend – nonetheless weeping – endured up and started anxiously stripping the sheets from sleep. She easily paced round the place putting brand new sheets on, blubbering about how exactly gross she felt and how embarrassed she ended up being. We helplessly viewed and tried to input terms of help informing her I didn’t believe it actually was that gross. “It isn’t really a big deal, you simply did not wash well!” hit three. She folded into floor after the sleep, pulled the big comforter up around her physique, sobbed, and consumed a whole box of cookies for the following twenty moments. At long last, she calmed down, and now we make fun of regarding it. Still, it actually was among the many funniest and yet many horrifying encounters of my sex-life.

via sapphoria.tumblr.com


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8. Stuck Fisting

Therefore, my personal girlfriend and that I were watching some pornography on Cyber Dyke one night and got truly into it, therefore we turned it off to go play. I was fingerblasting this lady and every time I could think that she was near climax, We backed off to attempt to prolong circumstances. This proceeded for half an hour. At long last had adequate and wished the lady to complete, therefore I worked-up to fisting this lady, that has been some thing relatively brand new both for of us during the time. Whenever she eventually arrived, it absolutely was truly forceful, it really hurt my hand. We gradually went along to simply take my personal hand-out and well, she failed to need let it go, lol. We had been stuck. I happened to be completely panicked, i did not imagine I was ever-going to have my hand out. Neither among united states knew how to proceed, very she begrudgingly called the woman aunt and dished the situation to this lady. We heard uproarious fun from the opposite end of cellphone for like five full minutes, whilst my personal hand is still caught. At long last, her jackass sister decided to end up being great and carry out somewhat Googling about the subject to aid you away and I finally worked my fist free of charge. We never existed that down though, the woman cousin still teases myself about it virtually all the time.

via suicidegirls


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9. Rainbow Gathering

When my gf (of 6+ decades) and I also got together, I became younger and unskilled. Really inexperienced. We were residing a house that may be seen as some sort of indoor Rainbow collecting with seven various other roommates, right across from a number of frat homes,and really near the university of a large general public university. No one secured the front doorway because everyone was also stoned to remember in which their particular tips happened to be. My personal sweetheart and I also had lately bought the basic strap-on. As I use it for the very first time, after around an hour of band adjusting and dildo placement, my personal girl burst into nervous fun. Seeing a dildo suddenly sprout from my personal big-tits, big-ass, buzzcut home most likely appeared a little absurd. 10 minutes afterwards she had gotten on top of the silliness of it all provide me personally a blowjob. Then the door opened. A burly searching, obviously intoxicated frat guy wandered in, stared at all of us for a moment, and then said, “Ohhhhhh. Sorry, I imagined this was my buddy’s area,” in a tone that communicated both a sense of shock and pleasure, like he’d simply won the lottery or something like that. Then he stood indeed there, staring. My personal girlfriend, coping with the surprise first, informed him to obtain the fuck away. The guy switched and walked away, maybe not towards the front door. My gf, having turned-in to 6 legs of pure femme trend by this time, got up-and chased him the bang away from home, naked. I happened to be left inside the bed room, determining whether to upset the sensitive stability of bands that held the vibrator positioned or even put my tiger striped gown (directed at me as a present from my personal grandmother) on top of the entire experience and pray it didn’t drop open. I decided on aforementioned, and timidly made my personal way out to sign up into the drunk frat man herding.

via femmethings.tumblr.com


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10. Shower Scene

My personal sweetheart and I also had only completed setting it up on subtly into the bath of the dressing room in movie theater at my university. She sweetly kissed me on check and was available in for a hug. Instinctively I instantly bro-patted the lady about straight back with two taps following thought straight away “what the fuck was that?… I’m hoping she does not notice/say any such thing.” We conducted in for an extra 2nd to compensate for your possibly-strange bro pat. However when we pulled aside, she looked at me personally, blasts into laughter and said, “Do You simply pat me personally throughout the back…?” We appeared down in total shame. “had been that meant to indicate

great work outdated bean

or something like that?” I became awesome petrified by whole ordeal at that time the good news is each and every time we have a particularly fantastic rousing circular of gender somebody becomes patted regarding the straight back.

via elles.tumblr.com

Vote for your favourite story
here
! champions will be launched next week.

Lots of stuff happened in lesbian sex recently!

+
The Rumpus assessed

The requirement of Particular Behaviours

, an assortment by Shannon Cain that offers numerous views on sexuality and identity:


“obvious intimate explanations gas several of Cain’s greatest passages, as really does the woman refreshingly agnostic and all-embracing viewpoint on libido and identification. In “this is one way It begins,” the protagonist Jane starts the storyline with a “boy” and a “girl” she loves similarly: “The girl is actually partial to the woman strap-on. The kid is keen on cunnilingus. This is gratifying to Jane. Plus, Jane can tell this into the girl: ‘It was good in case the dick were bigger.’ Jane wouldn’t normally get this declaration on kid, though it could be a little real.” Jane ultimately ends up with neither the child nor your ex, but the story never signifies that she should or could get to an identity-limiting epiphany, and rather finishes with a different selection of bittersweet irony that I won’t display.”

via fuckyeahdykes.tumblr.com

+ Some people have-been wanting to know whether sex dependency is actually genuine or perhaps is composed by people that simply have many sex.
According to
the

Vancouver Sun

, female intercourse addiction is increasing, and while the examples this article utilizes are flawed (porn, s&m, and achieving affairs are all mentioned as evidence that “this thing is actually morphing inside front side folks”). But weird statements aside, this article raises many interesting factors.
Based on

Jezebel:


“That uncontrollable intimate conduct is an unpleasant ailment is obvious, but what’s not clear is exactly what, precisely, constitutes the essential difference between gender addiction and plain old compulsive conduct, or if gender dependency also is present, at least during the eyes of some mental health specialists. One critic of sexual dependency warns that conflating intimate fixation with sex dependency really does “real” addicts a disservice. To phrase it differently, there’s a huge difference between becoming an alcoholic and liking porn a touch too much. To give an example, the guy provides examples of alternative activities by which men and women take part compulsively— like exercise, stamp collecting, and songs fandom. No one’s “addicted” to Radiohead. No less than, I don’t think-so.”

via shelikesher.tumblr.com

+ Having a “weird” name can influence your on line internet dating choices.
Per
a research of 47,000 people of a German online dating site, people will “somewhat unattractive” very first names received less profile hits compared to those with “notably attractive” names:


Very first labels tend to be linked to stereotypes. Once we become knowledgeable about men and women, the look of them plays a role, but therefore does exactly what this individual is called. Definitely usually the basic details we have. This effect features a powerful effect on the way we process additional information about this individual. If a person has a dubious title, we quite often automatically connect him with a dubious label. And we check out assess all more info considering this dubiousness.


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Whether or not flirting is actually a satisfactory device for reporters has now already been the subject of debate from inside the UK, as a parliamentary report commissioned following phone-hacking scandal
says it’s not
:


“underneath the going “ten methods utilized by some in mass media – beware,” it states: “Flirting. Often interlinked with alcohol. Designed to get you to drop your own defences and say much more than you intended. Be careful.”

via pinktacolovers.tumblr.com


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